A Tale Of Two Teens

Today our eldest turned 13. A teenager. What a significant milestone right?  Brent and I had been specifically praying several months prior to his birthday, that the Lord would "launch" him into this next season of life.  We've felt so amazed and happy to see the Lord bless, honor, encourage, and fill him in some pretty outstanding ways.  We are incredibly grateful.

Today I can't help but think of the fact that we have two teenage boys....one that we have seen and known from the moment he took his first breath (I can still see him turning towards my voice and seeing one little eye peer open and look up at me) and one that we have never met.  To one of them we gave a name, but aren't even sure if we're pronouncing the name of the other correctly.  We have changed diapers, wiped tears, laughed with, argued with, snuggled with, hurt for, cheered for, and read stories to one of them for thirteen years, but have not yet heard the sound of the others voice.

Today I am reminded that God may use one thing to launch one person into their destiny, and something completely different for another.  He may use one circumstance to extend his grace and make one strong, and something polar opposite for another.  He will use whatever we have to give, and whatever it is, even if it is brokenness and confusion,  He can make it beautiful and use it for His glory. I am reminded, as I cry over every fisher price commercial because I will never see the chubby cheeks, or toddling walks of three of my children, that God is not bound to our idea of the blessed life.  He is wise and sovereign.  He has not cheated one and blessed the other.  He makes all things beautiful in His time.  He gave His life for all. They have both been given life, and have been living it for thirteen years.  They are both boys.  They are both my sons.  They are both heading into a new and significant season of life.  They both have purpose.  They both have destiny.  Two lives, two stories, one Author and Perfecter.  I pray they will both choose Him.

Today I choose to throw all my hope on Christ, the solid rock.  I choose to rejoice in the fact that He is Redeemer.  He found me when I was lost and broken, and healed and transformed my life, and adopted me as His own.  He set my life on this course.  I choose to trust in Gods plans for these boy's lives, and to look with joyful expectancy at the future that God has for both of them.  Tell me, is there anything to hard for God? 

These brothers need to meet!

 *Side note here! Although I have not met him or heard his voice yet, I have seen his picture and I absolutely can not wait for the day I get to share that amazing face with you! Please keep praying for us that God will give us the grace to endure and that he will keep moving miraculously on their behalf.  I never would have imagined that we would be spending another Christmas without them. It is so hard, but we are trusting and continuing to ask and ask for their soon home coming!

"God, the one and only— I’ll wait as long as he says. Everything I hope for comes from him, so why not? He’s the solid rock under my feet, breathing room for my soul,  An impregnable castle: I’m set for life." Psalm 62 message

We Are Filled With Joy!

I have spent several early mornings and late nights looking up at the stars and echoing the psalmist, "What is man that you are mindful of him..." I have thought over and over again, "We are just one little family...we are nobodies, yet you are moving mountains for us..." He has done miracle after miracle for us and for our little ones to come, and I am so thankful.  I am also glad that I don't have to wait, or give a little space before I ask for another miracle! There is no shortage with our Father and it is His good pleasure to give us the kingdom.

I want to share with you some of the amazing things he has done and is doing.  If you look over to the right you will see our thermometer has reached $50,000.00.  Is this not insane?!! I cant even explain it!  I'll admit, sometimes when people ask how much money it is costing us to adopt, I don't always give them the real answer.  I'll say over $30k or around $49k, because once you get past $50k it's just so unrelatable for most of us, so I don't even say it. But here it is!  Even though I had no clue as to how this money was going to come in, I knew He would do it.  And even though I knew He would do it, and He has done it, I am still completely blown away! We are praising God for His favor and provision, and for so many loving generous souls who carry such incredible vision for the Kingdom.

Now, I did say amazing things (plural) so, what else could be so amazing? Praise God we are NOT done raising funds yet because, well, the Lord has seen fit to give us another son!!! Yes, we are beside ourselves with joy and laughter because God has held this beautiful miracle in His heart forever, and it is now unfolding before our eyes and we can hardly take it in.

We were told early on that the twins had a brother, but that he had "aged out" and was not adoptable. We've had conversations as to how we could keep he and the twins connected in the future, but that was the extent of it.  However, a few weeks ago Brent and I were praying for all our kids and he mentioned to me that as he was sharing with a friend about the twin's older brother, he started to cry.  We prayed for him, but deep in my heart I thought, "Oh Lord, does this mean something more for our family?" I felt the nudge to inquire about this brother, and found that he has only just recently turned 13, and he is in fact adoptable! When I read the information, I just stared at the screen with tears running down my face.  I couldn't even form a thought.  I had to rush off to a Dr.s appt. and then head out of town.  I got some good time on the road to pray and think.  As the minutes flew by, love, hope, and courage began to grow inside of me, and I could hardly contain my joy.  Brent, Solomon, and I (we both felt led to include Soli in the process of praying, and listening, believing for unity) prayed for two days and all felt strongly that we were supposed to adopt this precious boy.  So we are now on the path toward bringing him home as well!

We have been amazed over and over at the perfect timing of the Lord throughout this whole journey, and we just have to believe that the discovery of this brother, at this time, is all in God's hands. I can't help but think, "Who is this boy, Lord?! Who is this priceless treasure that you are setting apart for your glory, for such a time as this?" Oh, we can hardly wait to get to know him!

Hovering Hope, Hand in Hand, and Hahaha!!!

One of my favorite pictures from scripture is in the very beginning.  “….In the beginning the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the waters.”   This word moved -rachaph, means to be moved and effected with the feeling of tender love; to brood on eggs (as a hen); to sooth a child (as a mother). 

The word “move” has been a theme for us throughout this adoption process. We have felt so moved by the heart of God towards adoption, and recognize in a new way how deeply and fiercely the Father’s heart is moved towards His children. We have prayed for, and seen papers and processes miraculously move.  We are seeing huge financial mountains move.  And we see many friends moved and effected with a feeling of tender love towards our family.  Many of you are brooding over our “eggs” with us! This is the most cherished gift we could receive.  We knew from the very start that we needed family and friends around us to help walk this journey out.  And because of so many of you we have felt the strength to run! 

The past few weeks have been quite emotional for us. The twins had their 8th birthday on October 3rd, and that was very hard for me.  The longing for them grows more everyday.  But the days surrounding their birthday were filled with some very happy encouraging news. Things are moving! Here are some of the miracles that God is doing on our behalf....

1. Our previous debt for the first payment for the twins IS GONE!!!!  $15,000.00 DONE.  (I really want to write that again)  Our previous debt for the first payment for the twins IS GONE!!!!  $15,000.00 DONE. Such an incredible miracle!

2. We received our first grant!!! It is a matching grant from Hand in Hand Adoption, Inc. and it is a matching grant for $5,000.00!!!!  So, we raise 5 and they add 5! All this money will be able to go towards our next payment due when our referral comes. If you have ever thought about giving towards our adoption, now would be a great time to do so!  (*Details for giving are at the bottom of this post)

3. Much to our agency coordinators surprise, she received news from Haiti that we were much further along in the process than she had thought.  Although I can't share details, if you want to pray for something specific, please pray for the children's judge in Haiti to sign the papers we need for our referral!!!  Once we receive our referral we fly out to meet them for our bonding trip,  we are free to visit them as often as possible from this point until they are home with us, and we will finally get to show you their beautiful faces and share more information about their stories. 

Aaaaaaannd 4.  The twins just turned 7, NOT 8! Hahaha!!! :D The papers had all communicated that the twins were already seven and that their birthdays are Oct 3rd, but I never bothered to do the math.  They were born Oct 3, 2007.  This is so sweet to know we have another year of life with them.  I thought seven was gone. 

Just like the Holy Spirit moved over the watery void in preparation for light and life to spring forth, we have experienced many moments where there has been nothing in sight and we've mostly just felt the empty void, but can deeply sense the presence of the Holy Spirit moving and preparing us for what God has.  It is in these miraculous moments of provision, and progress that we get glimpses of what is to come and hope is stirred!  We can hardly wait for the day that we see these little lives spring forth and their adoption is complete.  We know that one day the Lord will speak the word and they will be completely released to us as sons and daughters!

I want to thank you so much for reading and taking interest in our journey.  If you have prayed at all for us, please know that we are immensely grateful.  I absolutely know these miracles are happening because of prayer.  If you have given at all, whether it was a check in the mail or a trunk load of yard sale donations, thank you thank you thank you!  God has moved huge mountains through your generosity, and our hearts are racing with excitement as we move closer to the day we will meet our son and daughter and bring them into our family!!!


*If you would like to give towards the matching grant fund all donations are due by November 14, they are tax deductible, and will go towards our next fee of $15,000 which is due as soon we receive our referral.  Please make checks  payable to “Hand in Hand Christian Adoption” (for tax purposes please include our name on the outside of the envelope only. Do not put our name on the check itself) postmarked by November 14, 2014 to:

Hand in Hand Christian Adoption, Inc.
Brent and Monica Stahl
18318 Mimosa Court
Gardner, KS 66030

Look! Five little eggs. In time, we shall see....For now, we believe.

I Found Treasure!

I am so grateful for the seed that was planted long ago in my hubby's heart for adoption.  He has a papa's heart and deeply loves and values family.  I am thankful for the anchor he is for our household, and for the wisdom and perspective he brings.  Although I almost always complain about it, because it is different from mine, I truly treasure it and am grateful for the richness that it brings to my life.

This morning was one such treasured morning.  I dreamt last night that we were in Haiti for our bonding trip.  A woman showed me into a room with two kids, a boy and a girl.  They were clearly not the twins. We played with them and read books to them.   I finally pulled the woman aside and asked, "Where are the twins?"  She brought me out of the room and explained that there was another family that came and got them earlier.  I was trying not to make a scene but I could not stop crying and was so distraught.  Even after I woke it took me a while to realize it was just a dream.  I shared it with Brent, and in true Brent fashion he was quiet for bit, held my hand, and then prayed for me.

The truth is, I have been fighting fear ever since we were matched with the twins.  I see their faces, pray for them everyday....we love them, and they are part of our everyday as a family. The thought of this somehow not coming to be (for whatever imagined reason) really scares me.  As Brent prayed, a greater truth came and permeated peace.  He prayed, ".....Lord these kids are yours.  They always have been and they always will be.  Our biological children, they are not ours.  They are Yours.  The twins, they are not ours. They are Yours.  Thank you for the gift of being able to love them and raise them...."

The great peace and assurance of God came, not because He assured me that they were mine, but because He assured me that they belong to Him.  They are in the safest hands.  Their future and their hope is secure in Him, and because of Him.   He is, and always will be, the author and perfecter of our faith.  I am reminded today of the great treasure we have in Christ, and in each other!!!  Today I choose to rest in His great truth, and appreciate the people in my life who so lovingly remind me of them every day.

 "Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him.  For he shields them all day long and he rests between his shoulders." Deut. 33:12

Give Them Up!

          Grateful feels like such a small word to me lately....I'm searching for more to describe the gratitude in my heart to the Lord; for His Word, His promises, for access to Him through Jesus, for dear friends, for compassionate strangers, and for his faithfulness to provide!  Whether it is finances, a friend to talk to at just the right time, or fresh strategy in prayer, HE HAS BEEN FAITHFUL to bring it! Absolutely every penny, every detail, and every moment of this adoption process has been a divine move of God. 
           Lately the Lord has been moving me to rise up early. (I have completely given up on fighting these moments!) If I'm up early while everyone else is asleep, I usually walk quietly around the house and pray, but recently I've been heading out back.  I felt like the Lord was giving me new strategy in prayer for the twins.  I stood at my patio and faced the South/East and stretched my hands toward Haiti and began to pray for our children to be released....That every hold over their lives, and over their paper work would be released....That every scheme of the enemy to keep them orphans would be thwarted, and that they would come home and come into their identity as sons and daughters.... 
          Two things happened as I did this.  One, a Don Potter song came to mind, called, Give Them Up.  I pulled up the song, pulled out my bible, found Isaiah 43, and began to sing it and pray it over the twins. It felt like such a gift to have these voices and instruments declaring along with me.  Two, I looked again toward the South/East from where I stood and noticed the two "twin" palm trees directly in front of my hands! I began to declare Isaiah 61 over them:

 
Jesus you came

"....to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor."

Isaiah 61

".....Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east

and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’

and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’

Bring my sons from afar

and my daughters from the ends of the earth—

everyone who is called by my name,

whom I created for my glory,

whom I formed and made."

 Isaiah 43:5-7

 

I share this update with you to give glory to God for His Spirit that He freely gives, and for His great and precious promises to us! And also to ask that you would pray along with me in this season that our son and daughter from afar, who are called by His name and created for His glory, would be brought in!   

Update:

We have recently been given news that our case, along with some others specifically from our orphanage are expected to receive referrals soon.  This is a very very big deal. As soon as we receive our referral we will be making our two week bonding trip to meet them and spend time with them!!! We are reeling over this.  Although I can not share all the details, this is a crucial time for prayer.  Please join me in praying for God's mighty hand to move over their lives and over all the logistics surrounding them right now. 

I can't say thank you enough to those of you who have lovingly stood by us in this journey! God's richest blessings to you!!!! 

Grant It Jesus

....Grant it Jesus is my plea....

I've been half jokingly singing this old hymn for the past two weeks.  With the significant increase in adoption costs due to the specific orphanage our twins hail from, we are in quite the financial predicament! We are still waiting to find out about the finances raised from friends and family at the Radiant Adoption Banquet, but the good news is, we picked up a check at Radiant Church today from the Fireworks booth sales!!!! The church very graciously picked up the taxes for us which allowed each family to receive $4,000.00 Hooray!!! Sure, it always feels great to have money, but it has never felt so good to deposit a check.  All the things I ever thought I needed or wanted money for absolutely pale in comparison.  Again, we are very grateful for the many friends who came out to help or purchase fireworks to bring our kids closer to home! We love you!!!

Thank you!!!!

 With the many recent successful fundraisers and the large amount still remaining, we are now hitting the adoption grants hard.  The timing is tricky though.  To apply for grants you have to wait until your Homestudy is complete.  Some of them want it submitted close to your departure date, but we can't move closer to our departure date unless we have the money :/  Many require a referral and picture to submit... I am hoping and believing that now is the perfect time for our family to submit.

So we are now up to our ears in grant applications.  This is no small task and although I can be quite ambitious, I knew I couldn't do it on my own.  Pretty much every grant is crazy intense.  There are several essay questions, personal info, detailed financial info, references, agency info, etc.  I am ambitious, but I am not stupid....and I am also not organized.

The amazing Dee and Zaphire!!! Can you see the halos?

So, I called a couple of dear friends who have "THE GIFT" (Cue heavenly angel's sounds).  They set me up to fly. It had taken me two months to complete ONE grant.  They came to help two weeks ago and since then I have submitted FIVE grants!!! I am so thankful for their help.  Still, my brain feels like it is turning into mush and I am just praying that we will actually be awarded grants!!! Hence the song stuck in my head "Grant it Jesus is my plea..."


We are applying for grants, matching grants, as well as an interest free loan.  We still have a hefty stack to work through.  So please join me in prayer that I would have the stamina to keep going and that our family would find favor with the many gracious organizations that we are applying to.

I have another prayer request, if you please.  As I have been eating drinking and breathing grant apps, and jokingly singing "grant it Jesus" I backed it up today and asked, "What are the actual lyrics to this old hymn?"

I am weak but thou art strong

Jesus keep me from all wrong

I'll be satisfied as long

As I walk, let me walk close to thee.

Just a closer walk with thee

Grant it Jesus is my plea

Daily walking close to thee

Let it be, dear Lord. Let it be.

Man, I get tears just thinking about it.  He is truly who I want, and all that I need. This is my plea.  This is the true longing of my heart.  Not to have enough money to get the twins, not to have all my you know what together, and not to get enough beauty sleep, but to walk ever close to my Savior and dearest friend, Jesus. 

Thank you for taking the time to read....I pray this blessing for you as well <3

Bitter-sweet

Some of my favorite moments as a mother happen when no one is looking.  When I spy out my bedroom window and watch Grace bake cupcakes in the sand box, or listen in the hallway as Elijah saves the universe, or catch my tween flexing and puffing up his chest in the mirror.  It gives me butterflies in my tummy and a lump in my throat.  In the midst of all the chaos and day to day conflict there are so many sweet moments to be captured.  I have always been one to stop and smell the roses; to take note of detail...and to wonder.


The road of adoption has been a bitter-sweet one.  Every thing that we love and enjoy as a family now carries the sting of our little ones who are not with us.  It seems to make it's way into every detail.  Saturdays are always hard.  I imagine the girls sharing a picnic, or all three boys playing basketball as I look out my kitchen window. But this is where it gets me every time- that darn rear view mirror!  We load up in the van to head to church or make a quick trip to the grocery store. I give the rear view mirror a check,  call back, "Every body buckled up?" and look to see all their faces. What used to be a seemingly harmless routine now brings tears to my eyes, because I look back and NOT every one is buckled up.  Not everyone is there.  It's crazy how it hits me.  One of the kids may or may not notice and ask what's wrong.  I'm honest...and we pray.  The prayers rise like incense and the sweetness fills the air.

Yesterday evening we were all just kind of putsing around, happily doing our own thing. I hear my middle boy from the kitchen.  It was loud and clear, yet I could hear a tightness in his throat. "I love you so much mom and dad......It feels like I'm about to cry...." I brought him over to me and sat him on my lap. He turned his face in towards my neck and started to cry. He said, "I am just so glad I have a family..." I held him and we quietly cried together.  There is this sadness.  We all carry it now.  It is a sadness that cries out for redemption and has the aroma of hope.  It is a mixture of immense gratitude and a new awareness of the great need and loss around us.  It is a very potent mixture. 

We knew when we stepped foot on this path that it was an unknown one.  We knew it wouldn't be easy.  There is always an out, there is always the opportunity to fake it or distract myself from it,  or BECOME bitter.  But when we drink the cup that the Lord gives us no matter how bitter or sweet, it always causes our lives to BECOME sweeter.  It's not just a story or an experience it is the sacrificial love and life of Christ that has been poured out for us and in to us by his Spirit and his grace that causes us to become like Him and share in His joy!  All we do is drink...we just say yes...we trust Him. 

I am so grateful that Jesus drank the cup to seal my adoption!  It was for the joy set before him that he endured. I know my cross is different from His but I am called to take up MY cross and FOLLOW him.  I gladly follow that man!!  Even through tears, I will trust Him as I wait.  At my absolute weakest I will worship with all my heart.  And I will remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!

Oh Sacramento!

In mid March my friend Brandyn and I finally finished our Dossiers!  This was a huge accomplishment for us.  We spent over a year compiling stacks of paperwork. One packet for the US, and one packet for Haiti (the Dossier is the Haiti packet).  Every paper needs to be notarized, State certified, and then authenticated by the Haitian consulate, before it can be translated and then finally sent off to Haiti.

We decided instead of mailing and waiting for the State certification that we would take a little road trip to Sacramento and get it done then and there! Thankfully we arrived with plenty of time to spare because we ended up needing every minute.  We soon discovered that each of us had 2 documents that had not been properly notarized.  We had to book it on foot to the UPS only to find that the notary's stamp was expiring within the nest few months.  This would not work for us.  Thankfully we found that we were both fast-walkers! We made our way from L and 10th to Q and 18th, got what we needed and headed back to the Secretary of State office.  Here we are- papers in hand,
exhausted but still smiling.  Rejoicing in the fact that we have moved one big step closer to bringing our children home!!!

That was trip one.  I honestly cant even remember why we had to go back again.  But we did, and this time we knew exactly where we were going and what we were doing. Ha! We arrived at the office confidently with papers in hand, only to realize our papers were never even stamped by the notary! Our notary was getting married the following week so we'll chalk it up to that.  But what was our excuse?! Somehow neither of us noticed.  So back to the UPS on Q and 18th, and back to the Secretary of State. You do what you gotta do.  We enjoyed a meal together and headed home. My heart has been beyond grateful for the gift of my dear friend Brandyn.  The Lord paired us perfectly together and it has been such a blessing for our family to be on this journey together .

Here we are looking a little more refreshed and ready to ship out our completed Dossier!

Sometime in the middle of waiting for our Dossiers to be translated, authenticated, shipped out, and legalized in Haiti we found the twins.  And once again I had to head up to Sacramento.  This time we made it a family trip of it.  We went up to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, headed over to visit our dear friend (who had been hospitalized for over two months) and his precious family.  Spent the night with another family friend and hit the State Capitol on the way home. 

I didn't know you could walk right into the State Capitol for a tour.  You can! And we did!

Got our documents for the twins!!

 

Our mini date at Estelle's

Not far behind was trip #4.  This time Brent and I made a date of it.  We got a call on a Tuesday morning, saying that one of our papers needed to be corrected.  I was in the theatre with the kids and Brent was having coffee with a friend. As soon as we were done we dropped the kids of with Grammy, hopped in the car and rolled out.  We found the most amazing little spot called Estelle's Patisserie Bakery and Espresso Bar. Had a quick drink and pastry and got it DONE!


And now last but not least.  I had the privilege of traveling with my friend Amber who is adopting from China.  They just finished their Dossier and she mentioned she was going to head up to Sacramento to get papers certified.  I blurted out, "I'm going with you!!" I was so excited for her and thought, hey I know how to get there, I know where to go if we hit any snags, and it'll be fun.  Well, she had no snags, and I actually missed our exit and got us turned around, but we did have FUN!

Yay!!

And this my friends is Estelle's pastry case. We had a perfect little lunch and bought little cakes to take home to our families!

The June Game Changer

Every Monday our amazing agency coordinator sends all the Haiti families an update. Sometimes it's International news, or new paper work requirements, or upcoming adoption webinars, and every now and then it's news that someone is going to get their kids soon.  Well, as it always does, Monday came around, and I was feeling particularly cynical towards the waiting period we are in. We are waiting for our referral- a picture and some information of the child we have been matched with by our agency.  When Brent came home from work he asked, "Hey! Did you read the update?" To which I replied, "No. It's nothing...it's always nothing...nothings moving...blah." He thinks I should read it, and I comply.

As I scan through the paragraph headings I see, "Waiting Children...we have 6 profiles for children in Haiti...and just added twins- ages 7 1/2."  From that very moment I was gripped.  Then, I panicked, thinking, "Oh no! I should've read the email earlier...what if I waited too late?"  I immediately began to pursue them.  I requested the password to view the children, but it wasn't working. I was dying to see them.  That night was our eldest son's championship baseball game and I left my phone at home so I wouldn't be obsessing about the password coming in. But the whole time I was talking with the Lord in my mind.  "Lord, are these our children? Could these be our children?? Could they be a girl AND a boy???"  I would head to the stands when he was up to bat and then was off again pacing and praying.  We came home, and no password. It was very late at this point and early morning on the East coast but I emailed our agency coordinator to request the password and waited up just in case she might see it at 2:00 am and send it to me. Ha!

I finally went to bed and woke up early the next morning to a whisper, "Hey babe, Michelle sent the password".  I flailed over the bed grasping for my laptop with one eye half open, slurping the drool from the corner of my mouth and half asleep rasping out, "Quick! What is it? What is the password?" (I had my husband proofread to make sure I wasn't over-exaggerating.  He laughs and starts flailing his arms around making unintelligible noises. Yep, that's how he remembers it too.) I'm sitting up now, eyes almost fully open and as I type in the password I'm already starting to cry a little bit.  I scroll through pictures of many dear, precious faces and then I see a boy.  I begin to sob and sob.  I click the button to "learn more" and he is a twin. I can not find the other picture, so flailing mode again I cry, "The phone! Please give me my phone! I need to call the office".  At this point, Brent is excited in his heart too, but all he is doing is anchoring down for me.  We both know there is NOTHING at all that makes these kids ours.  I have not even seen a picture of the second child, and he sees the mama bear in me and he knows my heart is already gone.  It did feel a little out of body, and I can remember sort of seeing myself and saying, 'Fool! You need to calm down!' But I couldn't. The urgency really felt so strong.  I call the agency and they help me find the info, and lo and behold- A boy and a girl! Through tears I say, "We want them! We are more than interested in pursuing them.  We absolutely want them." I still had not seen the picture of the girl.  Right after the phone call, the info came. I saw them both and I was in awe of them. I sent out two more emails and left another phone message making it very clear that we wanted them. And long story short we waited for what seemed like forever to hear a clear word back.

And here is the game changer.  We were no longer waiting for a match to be sent to us.  We were now on this uncertain path, pursuing two specific children. We wanted them. We didn't know the process for waiting children.  We didn't know how many other families were possibly just as interested as we were.  We did know it was probably more complicated than we thought.  I knew we just had to wait and I knew that if these children were ours that there was nothing that could stand in the way, and if they weren't, then no amount of prying and pushing or pleading could make them ours.  It was really only 3 days waiting, but I needed those three days to surrender and commit my heart to trust. Finally we received the call that the twins were ours!!!  And again, with the tears!  Our hearts were overwhelmed and now my sweet, strong-for-me hubby was fully rejoicing too! So we continue now to wait and pray.  Please join us in sharing in our joy and praying that our children can be home with us soon!

Our Adoption Journey

In some ways it feels a little late in the game to start blogging now. But as I look back on our story up to this point I think, "Why have I not been sharing this amazing journey with anyone and everyone who may hear it?" For some things it truly is better late than never and I think this is one of those cases!  I will post more blogs later about how we got to this point, but for now I will share where we are currently.

Our happy family of five is soon to be The Seven Stahls!  In early June we received the glad news that we will be welcoming TWINS in to our family!! Seven year old siblings, a boy and a girl.  A son and a daughter.... We are so amazed and overwhelmed at this reality of ours. It has been a month now that we have known of them.  I will sit and stare at their pictures, and pray for them, and imagine being with them around the table, and smile. And I realize again these are my children.  Sometimes I try to resist that truth from sinking in because it becomes more painful each time.  Knowing that they are ours, but they are not yet ours.

It's funny... I wrote a song about seven years ago inspired by the movie Dandelion Dust (An adoption story written by Karen Kingsburry). I had heard the story from a friend of mine who was co-producing the movie and he asked me to take a stab at writing and submitting a song for it.  I did.  I remember being so moved.  When I sat down to write, the entire song came at once and I sobbed over the piano.  They didn't use the song for the movie, which I was personally fine with, but I often wondered why that song was given to me and why it had such a deep impact on me.  It felt weird that it seemed to not have any purpose outside of that moment.  And even throughout our journey so far, it hasn't really seemed to really click or connect until now.  Now I get it.  It's my song.

This is turning out to feel a little heavier than I thought...sorry.  The joy and the pain are both very real.  They are a real part of life and a real part of adoption.  The pain and sadness is there, but the joy we feel now and the joy that is set before us is truly greater than the pain. So I guess we are over-joyed! There is a bridge in the song I wrote that carries the hindsight perspective: "Now I see that it was You (God) who was holding tight to me. You are hope and You are love." Our strongest grip of hope and sacrifice made for love is nothing compared to His.  He is our joy.  He is the one who holds us together and will bring our children all the way home!

Yard Sale, Banquet, and Booth Oh My!

This summer will not be soon forgotten by the Stahl family.  We have been overwhelmed by the generosity of our dear friends and family giving of their time, energy, money, and creativity.

Early in the month of June I received several calls asking if we were going to be hosting anymore yard sales. (We have made over $5,000.00 in yard sales over the last year and a half!) So after receiving the calls I thought it must be time to hold another one.  I put the word out and received a ton more donations, and many sweet friends  came to help sort and set up through out the week for a Fri-Sat sale.

Friends make everything better! These fabulous gals came and helped sort and set up for the yard sale!

Our friends the Lindvalls dropped off a generous truck/van load of donations!

Family photo op...posing with random stuff :)

After a week of preparation and two days selling, our final number was $800!!! Which is amazing for a yard sale. But to be honest, as silly/embarrassing as it is, I was feeling a little disappointed. These were my reasons: It was the first one we’ve done that made under a thousand dollars.  I had put the most work in to this one and was feeling so proud of how organized I was.   I was expecting all my extra efforts to pay off.  It wasn't all that bratty though.  I was also bummed for the people that gave so much! I wanted to sell it all, and make them feel blown away and so excited about how much their donations helped.  I really just needed to STOP all the analyzing.  At the end of the day, I put my tired feet up, ate a scorching hot donut, got over my self and and humbly gave big thanks to God for His faithfulness and provision.  I thought of all my sweet friends and the fun and laughter we shared together throughout the week and everyone who gave donations or just showed up to say hello or shop at the sale and felt truly happy.  Once again I was reminded of the tension between results and process, and how easily I can get overly focused on what I would consider the main point to be and forget about all the blessings in between.  And plus it's just a really good idea to trust God and be grateful! I am thankful for the grace and love of God towards me even when I'm being really petty.

The following morning something so precious and powerful happened in my kitchen. My daughter came over to me and with a fierce love said, "I will give everything I have....everything until my sister can come home!!"   She marched down the hall to find her change purse. She pulled every bill out one by one looked at it and put it in the donation jar.  I wish I could have captured the purity of her heart and the resolve on her face as she gave everything she had.  She dropped in the last dollar and turned around.  She had a sweet proud look on her face for a second or two, and then just burst into tears.  "I want my sister!!!  Why can't she be here!!! I don't want her to be apart from us!!!"  She ran into my arms and I just held her as she cried.  We prayed together, wiped away the tears, and counted the money.  I have no idea how, but that little girl put over $60.00 in that jar!

She wasn't done just yet.  She found her brothers and called them over to give as well.  My children put a hundred dollars into the jar that morning!  Brent also sold a handful of the yard sale items on craigs list and when it was all said and done we had a grand total of $1,095.00!!!  Not only had we raised our total but we all felt stronger as a family unit through all the hours, efforts and sacrifice given together towards bringing our whole family together. 


The following weekend was our annual adoption celebration.  This is such an amazing evening!  We had more donations than we knew what to do with, friends helping set up, tear down, run sound, decorate, organize, cook and serve food, and a house full of generous loving people who joyfully gave over $17,000.00 for families adopting at Radiant church!!! We are just blown away!

Prepping the fabulous food!

Sweet friends volunteering to serve during the celebration.

A very full house!

We announced to everyone that night that we had been matched with the twins.  The place erupted with cheers, and my face erupted with tears.  I can hardly believe the community we have sometimes.

Catalina baked, oh...about a million cookies! What I wouldn't give for an Earl Grey shortbread right now.

Ok! To follow up the amazing adoption celebration that followed up the perfect yard sale we were given a firworks booth.  That's right, a fireworks booth.  There are three families in our church right now that are adopting internationally and this booth was donated to us to help raise funds to bring our children home. We all feel so honored be on this adoption journey together, and we were able to raise about $4,000.00 PER FAMILY!   We spent four days and nights together loading, unloading, laughing, sweating, drinking lots of water and selling our little pants off.  We had a blast together and SOLD OUT by 6:30 on the 4th of July. We had so many volunteers, who showed up with amazing hearts and attitudes to work in the ridiculous heat, friends and family who helped love and take care of our kiddos, and to top it of ABC channel 30 showed up to interview us! (here's the link to the interview) By the time the interview aired, we had already sold out.  I thought it was pretty cool that the Lord just wanted to tell our story. This is what actually prompted me to start blogging.  I realized the Lord wanted our story to go out.  I only had selfish reasons for not sharing our story.  I decided that day to lay my self centered reasoning aside and open up believing that the Lord could somehow use it for his greater purposes.  He is really good at taking the little that we give Him and making it go a long way!

Our first day.  Getting the hang of it!

Sweet friends showing up to make a scene!

Loading and unloading all of it, every day!

Volunteers!

Volunteers!

And more volunteers!!!

Can you read that shirt??? It says "I LOVE ADOPTION" and it's true!

Philippians for Families

Philippians For Families is a project still in the making! I hope it will a be a blessing and a resource for many.  I get really excited when I think about family.  When I read the scriptures, everything points to it;  from the the very beginning when God the Father is building and preparing a home for his kids, to the very end when we are all together around the great banqueting table. The promise has always been a family.  Through it all He is making away for every one to come and belong, to find a home in Him.  I love it!

If you're interested in learning more about Philippians For Families, this video gives a good explanation of the project.



I hope it will be complete and available soon.  When it is, all funds will go towards helping with our adoption fees!

*This fundraising campaign from the video has already ended.

Contact

If you have any questions or comments about our adoption story please feel free to email me: monica@monicastahl.com